i can't believe i had my finger in that
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
