I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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