Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
