We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
