he thought i was a dude.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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