Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
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This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
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I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
do nipples grow back?
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