I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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