so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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