I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
