if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Randomize
