its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
