my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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