I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
