Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
