I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
