Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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