We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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