oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
