Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
