There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
