I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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