I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
