Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
