Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
