Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
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