i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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