so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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