she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
