wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Reggie can tackle my bush.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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