Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
