i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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