If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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