ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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