found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize