I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
