Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
that is very illegal...i love you.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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