Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
