I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
