There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Randomize
