You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
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