Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(718): View more from New York

3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight

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(301): View more from Maryland

Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.

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(712): View more from Iowa

Walk of Shame. In a state park.

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(253): View more from Washington

The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.

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These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Read it at the TFLN blog
(573): View more from Missouri

If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing

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(502): View more from Kentucky

She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.

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(513): View more from Ohio

you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants

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(231): View more from Michigan

I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.

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