Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
there was a trapeze. enough said
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.