3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I just had sex on a roof
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.