I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
