I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Nicole vs. Life
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
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