I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize