just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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