i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
