So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
