are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
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