He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
