a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
