Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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