You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize