fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
