I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize