Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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