I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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