he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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