and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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