You're completely useless in the revolution.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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