Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
