So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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