She is in my trunk
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
