Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize