And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize