so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
