So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
