i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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