Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(360): View more from Washington

I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock

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(507): View more from Minnesota

drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to

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(513): View more from Ohio

I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.

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(337): View more from Louisiana

if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?

(1-337): View more from Louisiana

4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds

(337): View more from Louisiana

mom cant say that college never taught us math

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(931): View more from Tennessee

a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night

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(630): View more from Illinois

Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.

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(330): View more from Ohio

im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today

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