it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Come share oat with me in your robe
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
