Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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