dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
