Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
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